shock and awe.

Let it be known that today, November 22, 2011, is the day that I received my first 100% from a professor with whom I have taken at least 10 classes. (AND this one is 400-level!)

I did a double take. and then I did another one. and then I looked to make sure the test was out of 100 points. Then I re-added all the parts. I turned the paper over three times. I checked to make sure it was really my test (it was). Then I looked again. It still said 100%. It had eyes and a nose and a smile and everything. Revelation! 100′s get smileys!

(more motivation.)

That’s all.

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give ye heed to what I say: (news! news!).

Hellooo, errbuddy!

I’d open this by saying I’m the worst blogger EVER, but I’m not. I just haven’t been super-totally awesome of late for several months.
I’m not the best blogger ever, either. Clearly.
I’m just sort of an average one who only posts when she feels like it.

I’ve been taking frequent trips down memory lane lately (the way I’m using it, it might need to be renamed memory highway), and my destination is usually Austria. I’m so glad I have 59,302,495 pictures and about 75 blog posts to remind me of everything that happened, because I like, need proof. It’s so surreal! Did I actually get on a plane by myself and go somewhere I’d never been and knew nobody?


It appears as though I did. Except I knew (and loved) both girls with me in that photo by the time it was taken. (that there’s Paris with it’s fancy big tower, folks.)

I also went waay back in the archives to my big announcement about studying abroad, and had a few chuckles when I saw the title of the post: Austrians never say ‘guten tag,’ which is what I called it. Ha! I can’t believe that was only a year ago! (Also, I can’t believe it’s been 6 months since I got back. Time is hardly linear, my friends.)

Anyway, all this to say that you might be seeing a little more of me (no promises, cause I might not keep them) and that Austria may still be a topic of interest around here, as part of my soul got ripped out and is lodged in a little bedroom in the north part of Salzburg. I thought it’d be fun to sort of re-travel vicariously through myself, so at the very least there will be links at the bottom of some of my future posts with dates corresponding to those from one year ago.

In other news: IT JUST SNOWED!
This is my facebook status, where I waxed all sorts of fancy with big words: “I love first snows of any kind, but the ones that drift in quietly during the middle of the night, secretly blanketing the world and clothing the naked trees, are my favorite. There is nothing like the exquisite and irrational joy of looking out the window into wonderland as it sparkles under the rising sun.”

I know. nerd.

In other other news: I started listening to Christmas music yesterday! It appears as though exactly halfway through November is the appropriate time to begin signing holiday jingles. I’m glad I solved the problem from this post.

In even more news: Remember that post from forty-seven years ago where I wrote beautiful poetry and said I was going to make things with pumpkin? Well, I did! Our house was filled with:
Pumpkin Fudge
Pumpkin Muffins
Pumpkin Waffles
Pumpkin Bread


Unfortunately, the only thing I remembered to photograph was the muffins, and they were DANG GOOD (which is NOT unfortunate). My mouth is literally watering right now. Too bad I didn’t write down what I put in them… shoot. (Those are blueberries, by the way.)

In final news: THANKSGIVING IS IN LESS THAN ONE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you couldn’t tell by the way I yelled that and used excessive punctuation, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday EVER. This year my grandparents, my mom’s sister and her family (Hi Aunt Cindy! and Uncle Tom! and Thomas! and Sarah! and Jay!) will be at our house, and our dear friends Carl, Nicole, and Matthew will be there too! I think my dad’s side of the family might stop over for dessert later as well.

WOOOOHOOOO!

The end.

(flashback Austria: guten tag.)

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oh by golly.

It’s November, and I’ve been thinking. I’ve been thinking quite a lot. I’ve been asking big questions and looking for answers that may not exist. I’ve been pondering life, wandering down existential paths, and the biggest question that has arisen is this:

When is it appropriate for me to start listening to Christmas music?

Generally, my answer would be “directly after Thanksgiving.” Christmas is the next major holiday following that one, so it only makes sense to restrict your Christmas listening to Black Friday and beyond. People begin to have that jolly Christmas spirit, the one that alights on the whole world as they stand in line at 3 AM ready to kill each other for the best deals, and honestly, what better way is there to celebrate the birth of Christ than fighting over a toy and listening to carols? It just makes sense to ring in the Christmas season as Thanksgiving is wrapped up.

Another contingent claims that today, November 1st, is the beginning of the holiday season and so commence listening to Christmas tunes today. November and December, they say, are the two months of the year dedicated to celebrating things, and so begin singing carols as soon as October is over.

I’ll be honest: I think today is too early. It’s practically still Halloween, and it’s still nice outside. There are still leaves on the trees. It’s still light out at 6 PM. The winter jackets are still in the closets.

I’ll be more honest: I don’t think I’m going to make it all the way to after Thanksgiving without listening to some Christmas music. I mean, there’s so much of it! It’s so wonderful! The most wonderful time of the year HAS to be extended beyond one poor little month. Mariah (Carey) needs to sing about what she wants for Christmas sooner!

You understand my dilemma. It’s a difficult decision, probably one of the hardest I’ve ever made: When can I break out the holiday tunes? Shall I wait for all the leaves to be off the trees, or until the ground is frozen solid? Is November 12, halfway between now and Thanksgiving, an appropriate date? Or should I just suck it up and wait like I do every year? I’m not feeling particularly Christmasy right now, but what about next week? Should I hold off until I’m filled with comfort and joy?

What do you think? Do we need a little Christmas now (or later)?

addendum: practicing Christmas music for some sort of holiday concert doesn’t count, else Christmas music would have started for me a couple of weeks ago.

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an ode to fall.

As there have been four autumns since I started this blog (I know!), I’m sure I’ve waxed poetic about how much I love this lovely lovely season before, but OHMYGOODNESS, everyone!

I LOVE FALL.

I love fall when it’s warm.
I love fall when it’s cold.
I love fall in the morning,
I’ll love fall when I’m old.

I love fall and its colors,
I love fall when it’s rainy.
I love fall so dang much
that you’ll think I’m insane-y.

I love fall ’cause of apples.
I love fall ’cause of pumpkins.
I love fall (if I’m lying,
start calling me lumpkin).

I love fall in the morning,
I love fall in my bed.
I love fall and I’ll dance
with red leaves on my head.

I love fall now you see,
I’ll love it forever.
I love fall, I love fall,
and my poetry’s clever!

heh. I’m basically the next Emily Dickinson. You may or may not be surprised to learn that I had absolutely NO intention of writing poetry this afternoon. I was just inspired, you see. When the spirit takes me, I must compose!

ANYWAY.

I’m going home tonight (big surprise there… I think I’ve been home more weekends this semester than all three years before this put together), and I AM GOING TO MAKE SO MANY PUMPKIN THINGS.

I AM SO STOKED. You may be able to tell from the abundance of capital letters around here.

On my radar:
-pumpkin fudge
-pumpkin pie (although I don’t like to make crust… maybe crustless?)
-pumpkin muffins
-pumpkin custard
-pumpkin rolls
-pumpkin scones
-pumpkin pancakes
-pumpkin cheesecake
-pumpkin oatmeal

Now, I won’t be making all of these. Probably only one or two or three or five or seven. These happen to be things I’ve been wanting to try or have come across on pintrest or some other time-sucking cooking/social networking/blogging site.

Now all I have to do is choose…

oh dear.

Any suggestions?

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missing home.

*tap, tap*

hello?

Is anybody there?

Oh! Hi!

It’s me. Megan. or Meg. whichever.

Sometimes I write stuff on this here website. You might have forgotten about me, as it’s been quite a while, but you know what? I’m a senior in college taking an 18 credit class load, and that is my prerogative.

ANYWAY!

HI!

I have a midterm tomorrow, so of course I just spent the last 25 or so minutes re-reading posts I wrote while I was in Austria. Oh my word, I miss Austria. The more time that passes, the more I realize how special that experience really was. Kids, study abroad during college. YOU WILL BE SO GLAD YOU DID.

…except your heart will probably hurt a little afterward, because a piece of it will get ripped out and stuck in whatever foreign land you choose, and pieces of your soul will attach themselves to the dear friends and family that you have gained, and you’ll long to go back to your other home every time you’re awake.

My favorite quote since I got back home has been this:

“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” – Miriam Beard

It’s so true. Living in other cultures, opening your mind to different ideas and ways of thinking, and even just trying new things or doing them on your own has such a profound effect on the way that you live afterwards. I don’t think I could have done anything more educational during my undergraduate career, even if some of the classes I took weren’t quite as challenging as those to which I am accustomed.

I miss home.

I miss family.

I miss learning.

(waahhhhh!)

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good mornin’, good mornin’.

I would just like, this morning, to make record of the astonishing sequence of events that has just occurred:

5:59 AM: I wake up, completely and fully, to darkness, and bound out of bed. I decide that it must be the middle of the night and I’m just thirsty, but, on a whim, check my phone for the time; I’m not used to being so alert in the middle of the night.

5:59.5 AM: See that it’s almost six am. Stand in awe of my awakeness for the next thirty seconds, and dismiss my alarm when it goes off at precisely six o’clock. (Note: alarm at six never equals out of bed at six. There is usually at least 35 minutes of hitting snooze involved.)

6:00 AM: wander over to light switch. Flip on.

6:01 AM: Turn on my macbook and begin doing research on Iran for my argumentation and debate class. Cite each article properly without the usual procrastination.

6:12 AM: Check email/facebook/twitter/gmail/google reader/google news, in that order. Wonder why I skipped this step in my normal turning-on-the-computer ritual.

6:26 AM: Shower.

6:41 AM: Begin blogging about unusual morning.

That’s it! That’s all I have for today, on account of it’s only been today for 48 minutes. I have some big ideas knocking around in my head, but they’re not concrete enough to expose to the world (some journaling may be in order).

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

I might even eat breakfast sitting still.

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troy davis, james byrd, and capital punishment.

I normally try to avoid posting late at night. I also normally try to avoid weightier, meatier subjets; happiness, life, and photos (plus the occasional snark) are the bulk of my blog, as most of you well know. The big stuff gets saved for my column in the school paper, or classroom discussion, or for my own private perusal.

Tonight, though, I’m kept awake by the significance of the executions of two different men in two different states for two different crimes, just hours apart; my best thinking happens when I write; and I think this is important enough to share.

Texas: A white supremacist is put to death for the horrifically violent hate killing of a disabled black man in 1998, with nothing to say for himself before he died–unrepentant and claiming full responisbility.
Georgia: A black man is put to death for the murder of a police officer 22 years ago, asserting his innocence and blessing everyone until the very end.

The news coverage for the first appropriately focuses on the victim. Headlines don’t mention the killer’s name, stories recount the brutal tale of James Byrd Jr.’s gruesome murder, everyone seems satisfied.

The latter focuses on Troy Davis, the man put to death. Articles reference his conviction, the killing of a cop in a parking lot, but are quick to add a ‘but’ and state all the reasons the death penalty shouldn’t have been carried out, not least of which is the possibility (perhaps probability) of his innocence.

I feel a sense of justice, of deserving, at the execution of Lawrence Brewer for his crimes. If anyone deserved to be legally put to death in cold blood by a sovereign government, it was Brewer. Someone that could drag a man behind his truck for miles along an asphalt road until he was undistinguishable from a piece of roadkill just because of the color of his skin should die as well, and in a much crueler fashion than lethal injection, right? He deserved to have his life extinguished.

If Troy Davis was really guilty, on the other hand, would he deserve it too? What constitutes the death penalty? Cruelty of the crime? Multiple murders? Rape? The victim? Locale? If there was no doubt he committed the crime, would the uproar there has been in the last week been present? Certainly with all the doubt surrounding the Davis case, the recanted witness testimony, the shaky evidence, a stay of execution should have been granted. Amnesty International and crowds of people protested the possible miscarriage of justice; any chance at all to prove his innocence should have been taken up and followed through before Davis’ death.

What impact does the location of the crimes have on the ‘rightness’ of the sentences? Is capital punishment in Texas more acceptable than in Georgia? 17 of the 46 people put to death in the USA in 2010 died in Texas, but it’s not even technically legal in New York and fifteen other states. Are crimes worse in Texas? Probably not. Why do those people deserve death more than murderers in New York?

The fate of the two men is the same, and was carried out lawfully. Was it right in either case? Sure, Byrd’s killer probably deserved it, but who are we as human beings to dole out life and death? Why does the government get to play God? If you believe abortion is wrong, should you not also believe that the death penalty denies basic human rights? Life is life, isn’t it?

Cases like Troy Davis’ highlight the problems with the American justice system, and lead us to look elsewhere for models; I wrote a major paper last semester for a European Union class comparing American and European human rights policy, especially in regards to capital punishment– it’s illegal according to the EU Charter for Fundamental Rights, and no nation can join the organization and still legally carry out the death penalty. Is Europe ages ahead of us in that regard? I think it is.

The death penalty is a violation of basic human rights and too final a solution for justice (let’s not forget whose solution was supposed to be final while we’re on government executions, as well). And besides, isn’t death the easy way out sometimes? Who decides?

(next: we’ll return to normal programming with a post about HOW EXCITED I AM FOR HOCKEY.)

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home.

I’ve discovered in the last three weeks that being a college senior is almost exactly like being a high school senior (except for the debt and ability to purchase alcohol and three extra years of knowledge and a little wisdom accumulated along the way).

Everybody wants to know where you’re going, what you’re doing, and how exactly you’re going to go about Getting There and Doing It.

I feel quite accomplished and satisfied and excited about being able to say that my plans include law school. It’s going to be hard, but it’s also going to be worth it.

So, that’s what I’m doing. Probably. The problem: I don’t know exactly where, and I don’t know how… I don’t even really know when. I make it through round one of questioning (what are you doing after graduation?) but fall down on the (oh, really? what school?!) and the (next year or later?) and (what do you want to do with a law degree?).

a question that I do know the answer to is (will you go back to Europe?). Yes. Yes, if my life heads in any sort of direction that I can control, I’ll live in Europe for some length of time. I know the when for that one, too: after my sisters are off to college.

One thing that I learned in Europe, more important than the capitals of the nine provinces of Austria, the way the EU Parliament is elected, or even how to interact with different cultures, is that relationships are important. The combination of living in a culture that isn’t particularly driven by work and success and being so, so far away from my family and friends drove it home quite decidedly: relationships are the most important part of life.

If I have a Bachelor’s in this and a Master’s in that and a JD and a PhD and an important job in an exotic place, but no love and support, what does it matter? In our digital day and age, I can live 5,000 miles from home and still see my family on the screen, but it’s certainly not good enough, not when I have the opportunity to stay close to home a little longer, not when my sisters and brother will definitely be in Western New York for a few years more.

I missed Ali’s surprise sixteenth birthday party, and it was the hardest day of being away all semester. I was on skype, I spoke to all the family and friends there, but I missed it, and it was almost not worth being gone (almost. not quite. I definitely advocate getting out and studying abroad during college. it’s worth it).

So yes, I do plan to live in Seattle or Portland, London, and perhaps France. I want to see Australia, Antarctica, Alaska. But they can wait. There are law schools close to home, close enough that I can attend every prom, graduation, senior night, sectional game, and dance recital that my sisters have, and see my brother finish college and get his master’s. I can spend time with my grandparents, and make memories to cherish while I’m working in Italy. Do I plan on staying in my little home town these next few years? Perhaps not. (Perhaps I’d go nuts.) But I will be a car ride away to come home for the weekend and take my sisters prom dress shopping, hang out with my brother, and go out to lunch with my papa (and of course, spend time with my parents).

I’ll bet that my family sees more of me this semester than in all three years I’ve been at Roberts before–my priorities are a little different, and I have excellent gas milage, too. :)

Family is what I’ve got, and while it’s still all in one place, I don’t plan on straying too far for very long. I’ll travel, maybe even spend another semester learning abroad, but not at the cost of missing what’s important. I am independent, inquisitive, and adventurous, but I’ll keep hold of the apron strings for now. Anyway, aren’t there adventures and learning to be had in our own backyards?

(When they’re untied, though: watch out, world!)

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grande soy pumpkin spice latte, extra foam.

EVERYONE HOLD EVERYTHING.

I have just found out that pumpkin spice lattes are back at Starbucks.

Ergo: I need to get to Starbucks IMMEDIATELY. ASAP. RIGHT NOW.

Unfortunately, it’s 11:17 PM, and businesses do silly things like close at night. Also, I’m at work, so that’s a problem. Work, you say? BLOGGING AT WORK, you say? HOW DARE I?

Actually, this job kind of rocks. This job kind of rocks because it involves me sitting in a computer lab from 8pm-12am on Wednesday nights. My list of duites includes:
refilling the paper in the printer
helping people if they need help with computer things

As there has been a grand total of 0 people who need my help, and five overall, in the lab (including the cleaning lady) during the eight hours I’ve worked so far, and the number of times the printer needed paper has been a big fat 0, I’d say that it’s going to be a getting-paid-to-do-my-homework kind of deal, and that, my friends, is a deal that I can live with.

Also, I begin to be prone to writing run-on sentences after 11:00 PM.

That’s right. 11:00 PM.

CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS?

Here’s what my days look like so far this semester:
6:15 AM: Wake up.
8:00 AM: Begin class.
8:01 AM-10:45 PM: Go about the rest of my day.
10:47 PM: Get ready for bed.
11:15 PM: Fall asleep.

WHAT IS GOING ON? WHO THE HECK AM I?

I CAN’T HANDLE THIS JOB, IT IS PAST MY BEDTIME.

WHEN DID MY BEDTIME GET TO BE DURING THE SAME DAY THAT I WOKE UP?

WHEN DID I START GETTING UP BEFORE THE SUN?

IS THIS A QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS?

ARE THERE QUARTER LIFE CRISES?

WHO AM I?

WHAT IS MY PURPOSE IN LIFE?

DO I HAVE TO GRADUATE?

WILL I GET A JOB?

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THE UNIVERSE?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????????????

Not to be dramatic or anything.

But seriously.

If this keeps up much longer, I think I’m going to need to get my head examined. Or I’ll just drink a grande soy pumpkin spice latte with one less pump of syrup than you’d usually put in, extra foam, and the world will make sense again.

Except now I have to read Plato for class tomorrow, so it probably won’t.

(In other news, this post is basically a re-hashing of the incoherent comments that I just left on the wonderful and talented blogger/photographer/traveler/yogi/chef/friend Beka’s new blog, Beka Stays. It’s pretty. It’s cool. It makes me want to give this here url a makeover. If you’re a blogger/reader/human, you should subscribe.)

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the bells: all was well.

We were walking together, this girl and me, and it was our first week in Salzburg. I didn’t know at the time that this particular individual would turn out to be one of the greatest friends I’d ever meet; we walked together from the necessity of familiarity in a city full of strange people and places older than anything we’d experienced on our way to something else brand new.

We left way too early; the pizza place that was to be our dinner wasn’t even open yet. We walked to the old town then, looking for a stand, a hole in the wall, anything with palatable sustenance. We left early to avoid being late, we left so that any other new obstacle wouldn’t be one that made life even more stressful while trying to find a room in streets that wound organically from 1,000 years of use.

We found pretzels, I think– there’s a green market in the heart of the old city, between the Universitatskirche and the Getreidegasse, right outside the Mozart family’s first backdoor, and there are a few stands with pretzels there that could put Auntie Ann to shame. Armed with that excellent dinner, we wended our way to the back door where we were trying to be, arriving, of course, 45 minutes early. As it was January, and it was early evening, it was already dark and most things were closed, and so we found ourselves standing and talking in the heart of the Old Town, the Altstadt, at 6:00 PM on the dot.

The Altstadt was completely redecorated in the Baroque style by one of Salzburg’s many ruling Prince-Archbishops; the result is a stunning conglomeration of majestic, two steepled cathedrals, stately pseudo-palaces, fountains, and old houses and shops, all in the shadow of Salzburg’s distinctive 9th century fortress and nestled between the three city mountains. Churches abound in the Altstadt: Salzburg was an independent bishopric of the Holy Roman Empire, an outpost of the Vatican, until 1805, so beautiful Catholic churches are all around. As good Catholic places of worship, each church and building associated with the Holy See is equipped with its own bells: The Dom, Salzburg’s main cathedral (and Mozart’s inspiration for several masses) has massive, deep, bone-quaking bells; the Residenz, home of the Archbishops, a delicate glockenspiel; and the rest of the churches in the city and the nunnery and two monasteries tolling down from the mountains somewhere in between.

It was 6:00pm, and every bell in the city began to ring. The girl and I were discussing life back home, I think: she has more siblings than I could straighten in my head, and we had just begun to talk about the differences between her native Georgia and my New York when the bells began.

There is nothing that I will experience like those bells the first time I heard them ever again.

I have heard them since, and I hope to hear them again, but standing in their music, in the center of all the churches, in the courtyard between the home of the Bishops and the great Dom, is an experience that I will hold dear for the rest of my life.

The first bells began, and we stopped talking to listen. They were beautiful; real bells tolling, not like the giant speakers in churches back home. The next church’s bells began, and their dissonance created a harmony that was quite striking. When the third set of bells began to toll, while their neighbors continued, the experience began to be quite special: after 30 seconds, so many sets of bells were ringing in a music so unique, so loud, that all we could do is stare open-mouthed at each other in wonder. Had we wanted to speak, we couldn’t have heard each others’ voices; so many bells were ringing so close to each other and us that even shouting to each other wouldn’t have been effective (and it would have marred the music, anyway).

The bells tolled in their many voices, calling to each other that the day was three-quarters through, their silver and gold and bronze toned voices echoing through the Baroque square, beautiful in the cacophony. They sang, some brightly, some so low that we could feel them in our souls, that it was six o’clock, and time for the people to be home with their families, preparing for dinner together, chiming that all was well. They welcomed the girl and me to our new home in Salzburg, letting us know that even if we were homesick, bewildered, and afraid, the bells would report that time was turning, steady and reliable, and we could always count on their exquisite tolling for stability and comfort.

The bells tolled, and Salzburg became a little more home.

(Love and miss you, Marigrace! I’ll treasure this moment with you forever.)

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