Anyway, a major draft is due in 10 hours, and of course I’m only halfway done with writing it (thankfully more research is finished than that), so I’m blogging because I don’t know what to do with what I’m doing and this feels productive so I’m not panicking yet. See? Procrastination is so healthy.

I’ll leave you with evidence of happier, more carefree days (because by this point last year, I was no longer on the verge of tears at every moment!) through these posts from Austria:

January 23, 2011: wilkommen nach salzburg.
January 24, 2011: the old city: the first photographic tour. <— with pictures (duh).
January 25, 2011: living in history.
January 26, 2011: the sabres in österreich. <—I just watched the end of the game, and the Sabres almost won! It was so exciting, which is kind of sad. Come on, Sabres.
January 27th, 2011: happy birthday from the vienna philharmonic.

(geez. all of these posts make me feel like my life is so boring and I’m a lame blogger now… although research does tend to be much less exciting and much more time consuming than studying abroad. hmm.)

More later (and perhaps a little about my research) after this is over! (I know, you can hardly wait.)

It’s not really something you understand while you’re at it, either. When you get there, it’s scary and different and then okay and then just plain normal, and it’s life and you love it. You do cool stuff, but you’re always doing cool stuff, you know? It begins to be perfectly normal to hop on a train, drop your stuff in a hostel, and casually walk around the Colosseum, past the Trevi Fountain, and over to St. Peter’s before going to bed in ROME. or PARIS. I mean, come on. I was in Milan, Paris, London, and Vienna in the space of a little more than a week, and I thought it was pretty cool at the time. In retrospect? OH MY LORD, WHY WASN’T I FREAKING OUT FOR THE WHOLE TRIP?

I’m headed in two different directions here:

1. Parents and children: if at all possible, please please please study abroad. I mean it with my whole heart. If you are moderately laid back and can afford it (and it is sometimes surprisingly affordable) GET ON A PLANE AND GO WHEN YOU ARE IN COLLEGE. It is so worth it. [disclaimer- emphasis on the laid back. different strokes for different folks, y'all. You've got to be able to go with the flow in a different culture or there will be no end to the shock (end excessive cliche use here).]

(also, I learned how to do that thing up there with the brackets and parentheses by listening to a podcast earlier today. Cool, eh?*)

2. I am continually and constantly amazed at human beings’ ability to adapt. I mean, we live in every environment ever, and it seriously takes about a week to get into a new routine, however different it was from anything we’d done before. It’s a really cool deal, this human experience, but I’ve learned that though adaptability is awesome (and, incidentally, one of my strengths according to this book we read in one of my classes a couple of years ago), being filled with wonder is just as important. Stopping to notice, for instance, how the snow glistens when it’s lying fresh on the ground, or taking a moment to stare at the stars in their splendor above is an unmeasurably rich part of being a person with thoughts and feelings and intelligence. We adapt, but is getting used to beauty and forgetting to notice it necessarily good? Should I have grown accustomed to walking by the birthplace of one of the greatest musical minds EVER or ordering lunch from a food stand beneath a 1,000 year old fortress? I think it’s simply human nature to adapt; we can’t help it. If we walked around all the time staring at the stars, we’d probably end up tripping and falling on our faces (not that I know anything about that…)

It’s all about balance. We must to adapt to survive, but the details need not be lost: and really, I think I did a decent job while I was in Austria. I think it’s impossible to get used to the Alps, after all. They’re awfully big.

Anyway, this whole post was born from my voyage back in time: one of today’s year-old posts was about seeing Munich, and I was rather matter-of-fact about it. I’ll send you back there via this post, and we’ll also hop on a train, climb a mountain, and visit a fairytale castle after a snowstorm as well as have dinner with my uncle who happened to also be in Munich at the very same time for a work conference (uhhh.. I KNOW. SO CRAZY).

January 19th, 2011: a deal with the devil.
January 20th, 2011: mad kings and uncles.

We might return to your regularly scheduled programming (read: the life I’m living right now) next time, but you never know! I’m writing for me, remember?

*nerdy is the new cool.

Friends, today is a momentous occasion. A date to go down in history, if you will.

DUN-DUN-NUH-NUH!

This is both the 1 year anniversary of my hopping on an airplane and flying to Austria and my 200th blog post! Holy nostalgia, Batman!

It has been one heck of a year at home and abroad/4 years of bloggin’-at-college. I’d make this a really long, weepy post about how much I miss Austria and how much I want to be on an airplane flying over the Atlantic and how much I miss my friends and how dearly I have loved developing as a writer over these 200 posts y’all have read, but I’m not gonna. This is a new dawn, a new day, and a new life for me, and I’m feelin’ good. (uhh… )

(See how I stuck that y’all in there? That’s ’cause Marigrace was here last week from Georgia for a visit and I never even wrote about it! I will later when I’m not celebrating momentous occasions, I promise. Also, I sometimes think in song lyrics.)

Two closing remarks:

In all seriousness, thank you all so much for reading faithfully and encouraging me over these last 200 posts and almost 4 years. I like to think that I’ve done some great developing as a writer, photographer, and overall human being on just megan., and you guys have been instrumental in prodding me along. You’ve traveled the world inside my head (in more ways than one, bless you all) and I thank you for sticking around from the bottom of my heart.

(I’d thank you some more, but I’m tired of seeing this instead of my bed:
)

I’m going to leave you with a post I wrote 364 days ago right after I arrived in Munich, Germany, all dazed and confused and jet-lagged and culture-shocked. I feel sorry for me when I think about me then, ’cause that was kinda rough, lemme tell you. As I didn’t write a post from the air, I can’t send you back to exactly one year ago right now, but I think you’ll get the idea from this post. I’ll be posting links and occasionally reminiscing about my Austrian adventure over the next four months, so get ready for some hysterical crying because I wish I was there! (Just kidding! Sort of.)

(Big news: I start my internship at the District Attorney’s office tomorrow!)

Love you guys.

So when I announce (as I will at this very moment) that I am anticipating getting up before the crack of dawn to drive to school in the dark with an emotion resembling pleasure I’m sure your jaw is somewhere in the vicinity of oh, your chest. Yep. You’ve just said “WHAT IN GOD’S GOOD NAME IS GOING ON HERE, MEG?” out loud, haven’t you? Or perhaps, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE ADMIN OF THIS BLOG?”

Well, you know what? Even though I’m practically dead to the world and worthless unless you want me to do anything but shower, drink coffee, or drive, I kind of really like having 45 minutes to get thoroughly woken up before my first class at 8. I have always loved listening to podcasts as I travel along, and WHABAM! at least 1.5 hours on the road for at least 3 days of the week have suddenly become available to me. As I have difficulty functioning unless I’m reading, writing, or multitasking, this is a prime opportunity for serious learning potential. In the mornings, I listen to the news (or classical 91.5, which always gets me weird looks when my non-music major friends get in the car), and in the afternoons, I tend toward nerdy podcasts from howstuffworks.com (unless there’s a new podcast from Relevant Magazine, which take preference over everything).

Of course, I know there will be times that I wish public transportation ran from my front door to Roberts (I read so many books during my 30-45 minute commute from home to school in Austria), but all in all, this driving gig isn’t so bad (so far), especially when there are strategic places to stop for caffeinated beverages along the way!

I had some serious trouble blogging during the second half of 2011. The first half was all, “I’M ON A DIFFERENT CONTINENT AND I HAVE TOO MUCH TO SAY ALL THE TIME!” but then the second half was like, “wow, this is the same thing I’ve been doing for three years.”

My life is so boring right now.

Except… is it?

Sure, it’s a heck of a lot easier to be sharing cool stuff all the time when you’re seeing new and cool things every day (hello, Eiffel Tower), but if there’s one thing I know about writing, it’s that there is always something to write about. Details are all around me, and those details are what make life sweet and full and whole.

I started this blog in 2008 to document my journey through college, and that journey is beginning to end. Everything was new and exciting then, too– out on my own, an adult, free to do whatever I pleased and stay up as late as I could ever want. Now, almost 4 years later, I know how to study and go to bed at a reasonable hour and get stressed out about my responsibilities and have figured out that hello, actually working = high grades.

I didn’t intend to make this a “HELLO 2012 & GOODBYE 2011!” post either, but it seems to be becoming one (at least in my head. Join me, why don’t you?). 2012 is the year I graduate from college and start a whole new chapter. It’s the first new year where the future was foggy: I haven’t any idea where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing when 2012 closes and 2013 rolls around. NO IDEA. And that scares my detail-oriented, long-term-planning self.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m as laid back and relaxed as the next girl. I can handle spur of the moment and will-of-the-wisp as well (or better) than your average person, and the unknown? I got on a plane and went to a country I’d never been to where they spoke a language that wasn’t on my tongue and I knew nobody. I can say to myself, “Self! you need to have an adventure today,” and get in my car and go enjoy my solitude wherever I choose to find it. It’s just… what will happen to me? Who will I become?

But HELLO, this is the rest of my life we’re talking about here. THE REST OF IT STARTS NOW! And isn’t that something to write about? So my goal (that I just made up right now) for 2012? notice the details, and record them as well as my communication degree and I can here on this blog. I think I’ll write for me this year. Usually I write for everyone else: “what will bring the most traffic to this site?” is aways flicking around through my head. Not this year!

(probably. I’m flying by the seat of my pants, here.)

the 2012 edition of just megan. is going to be exactly that: just megan. I’m not going to worry about posts that aren’t as exciting as they were last year. I’m going to write this year for me, for me to look back on and re-live and record, and I’m going to take you along for the ride!

Happy 2012!

Aside from being read aloud in class, this has appeared in RWC’s The Beacon. Enjoy!

Destinations

I stepped off the plane and walked down the jetway into the airport. Looking around, I could feel the excited anticipation that all day had been threatening to bubble over into some sort of hysterical emotion nearing its capacity in my chest. We’d arrived ten minutes early; I deliberately took my time, strolling past the empty gates whose planes had already completed their last flights for the day, attempting to stay calm.

Arriving at your destination is always better than departing for it: I love to fly (I mean, you’re sitting in a chair in the sky for goodness’ sake), but the hassle of actually getting on the plane is always a headache. When you land, there at last, you get off the plane and get your bags and go, out into the world— no waiting. I love them, but airports always feel like some sort of traveling purgatory, neither here nor there.

I finally reached the two baggage claim carousels downstairs and immediately collected my pair of giant suitcases, slinging the oversized backpack I was already carrying onto the handle of the bigger bag and settling my purse on my shoulder. That’s one beauty of small airports, especially at night; your baggage is out in a flash, and it’s not easy to get lost finding it. I looked around eagerly: no sign of them yet. I decided to head outside—lugging a 25 pound backpack through an airport and then yanking a hundred more pounds of luggage off of a moving carousel is sweaty work, and the early May air was sure to be crisp.

I had almost reached the exit when I glanced behind me and saw two figures scanning the crowd, my careful reserve cracking when the smaller one began sprinting in my direction. I dropped my array of baggage and took the three steps required to close the distance between me and the biggest hug I’d had in some time–not caring that we were making a bit of a scene, even in an airport, a place not unused to happy reunions. I untangled myself from my best friend and hugged the other one, as dear as a brother, laughing with joy. My actual brother and his wonderful girlfriend were waiting with the car, and we made our way outside into the familiar spring air. The weariness from the 23 hours I’d just spent traveling melted away; every train, bus, car and plane that carried me hundreds of miles through Europe, thousands of miles across the Atlantic, and hundreds more over America was forgotten; the four months I was gone became vague history; I was home.

(see why I was posting it today? I promise the next post will be about something besides Austria. ha!)
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As December rolls around, I can’t help but reminisce about this time last year– I was more excited and more scared than I’d ever been in my whole entire life: I was leaving for Austria in a few short weeks! It feels even more similar as I pack up my room and bring everything home, although this time I’ll be staying put. This time I’m not alone in my emotions, either; my Salzburg College classmates and I stay in constant contact on facebook, and we’re forever spouting “remember when…?” comments on the group we’ve continued as members of since this time last year, before we knew one another. We are each other’s support system now as we were during our four months of physical companionship.

As I look back on my time in Austria, I can’t help but continue to write about my experiences as they occur to me– part of my motivation for blogging so often while I was abroad was to create a poignant primary source to help me remember everything exactly as it happened. As my memories begin to fade (what was that street called?) I begin to feel a sense of urgency about getting everything down: what if I forget that feeling?

All this to say that a vivid memory of a morning on a train struck me (and compelled me to record it) as I read through some of my lovely housemate Beth’s blog: six of us, on February 10th, hopped on a train to Innsbruck, Austria, which connected us to a night train south to Rome, Italy.

This was my first real experience on a train. We’d taken a few here and there in the few weeks we’d been in Europe already, but never spent more than an hour getting to where we were going. We’d booked on a sleeper car (read: tiny room with six bunks (three stacked on each side of the door) off of a long hallway on one or another side of the actual train car), and my friends Nina, Marigrace, Brittany and I had a car all together (Max and Will were in a different one). I woke up early after a surprisingly good night’s sleep, lulled by the movement of the train (and augmented by the way my short frame actually fit in the bunk), and slipped out of the room and into the hallway– I’m sure I gasped aloud as I caught sight of the terrain rolling by on each side of the tracks. I’d fallen asleep in the dark Austrian Alps and awoken to a wonderland of hilly Tuscan vineyards and tumbling fields, all covered with morning mist. The light was just that: light, weightless, smooth; the gentle fog graced the rustic houses we sailed smoothly by like a delicate veil.

The landscape was everything I’d ever imagined Italy to be and more– trees like you’d see on spaghetti bottles, vineyards rolling out of sight, everything about them calling of Italian wine and supple flavor. Nothing was its normal, daytime color; the early morning fog obscured the true nature of the countryside just enough to make me second guess its corporeality, but not enough to conceal its natural grace. It was endless: the light, the mist, the hills, the beauty; and there I was, standing on a train in a dream that was reality as the rocking of wheels winding round down the tracks propelled me on through Tuscany, through dawn, to the brink of imagination. I don’t remember how long I stood there, mesmerized (I think I did eventually make it to my on-train destination: the gross bathroom), but the experience is something I refuse to forget– just one among dozens of unforgettable moments, but precious all the same.

(Click here and here for more posts about Rome that I wrote just days after I was there–they’re super fresh!)

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Here’s what I’m saying: friends, real friends, are like, the greatest thing in the entire world. It’s like having family you get to choose, and I am so fortunate to have both my family that I’m related to and family that I’ve picked up along the way. Having a friend that just gets you, one to whom you can say anything and everything and be understood without fear of judgement, is practically the greatest thing in the whole world. A friend who loves you for exactly who you are, no matter what, and who you love right back– a real, true, friend– is unique; a gift, most definitely. A true friend can go from crying tears of laughter over inside jokes to wiping your tears over any matter, trivial or significant, and a great friend knows the names of all your relatives and other friends and how you feel about each one. You are gifted with a friend when your stories are never boring and every detail is important, when passing phrases you spout on a whim (things that you don’t even remember talking about) are recalled weeks later. A true friend badgers you about spending time together until it actually happens, no matter how busy you both are, and then shows up with your favorite thing to drink. When you can make eye contact with a friend and know exactly what’s going on behind those eyes is a special thing indeed, and when that friend loves what you love and is passionate about similar things, is one with whom you can simply sit in silence or blurt out whatever crosses your mind, is a friend to keep for a lifetime.

I intend to.
(no matter how far away we roam)

(On a related note, I can’t believe how much stuff is due (and to do), especially on Thursday and Friday. How the heck did this happen?)

My senior year of college is about halfway over, and I have exactly two weeks of living in a dorm left for my entire life (God willing… please, grad school/law school/future life, do not have dorms in which I have to live). I mean, the R&B serenade I’m getting from the room across the hall right now isn’t too bad, but there is only so much rap I can handle, especially if said pseudo-music feels like it’s coming from God on high, it’s so loud.

I also can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to eating, like, food again. I love cooking. I love pretty meals. I love cooked, fresh vegetables that aren’t the same basic texture as baby food. Garlock Dining Commons, you haven’t been the worst place to eat at least twice per day for the last three years, but you haven’t been the best, either. Let’s part on neutral terms.

Believe it or not, I’m also not dreading the long-ish commute I’ll be making to Roberts three days per week for the whole semester. Driving about 45 minutes (with no snow and no traffic) to get to an 8am class won’t be exactly fun, but I’m anticipating having all that time to just sit and think and drive, with no other demands on my time (as I can hardly do homework and operate my car, as much as I’d like to sometimes). Besides, I only have that early class once every week, and a quiet drive with a lot of coffee and some quality music should set me on the right track for the day.

What I will miss about living at school is being close to my friends all the time: even if I’m in my room, 2 minutes has me in the company of some of the people I love best, and that sort of spontaneous fellowship will be much more difficult to manage if I’m farther away. On the other hand, without a place of my own on campus (except, of course, my car, which has a nice and comfortable backseat) I’ll be forced to foist myself on them when I’m tired of the library– hope they don’t mind!

I’d say that this semester will be the most different, the most difficult to adjust to, but that whole Austria thing blows that theory out of the water– I guess if I can acclimate myself into a whole different culture with a foreign language and nobody that I knew, I can live with my family and go to school for 4 months too. I’ll just have to keep reminding myself that I am capable of adjusting to much more than I might think at the moment!

I think the hardest thing will be trying to mesh the identity I’ve developed living away from home for the last 4 years and the independence I’ve taken for granted with the responsibilities of living with a family, especially the same one that I’ve been a part of for my whole life. I’m not the same person that left for Roberts at 18, and my parents and sisters aren’t, either.

We’ll see! (If this doesn’t work out, I’m looking at you, Grandma and Papa.)

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Exciting development #1: INDIA! That’s right. I am going to India. Specifically, I’m going to a children’s home and school for refugee orphans in the southern part of India with the RWC SIFE team in June 2012. It’s going to be life-changing.

Exciting development #2: INTERNSHIP! That’s right. I have a 3-credit internship at the Orleans County District Attorney’s Office next semester for my communication major. I’m super pumped! As I’m still planning on law school, this should be a pretty valuable experience.

Exciting development #3: COMMUTER! That’s right. I’m driving to school from Albion next semester. As I only need to be on campus 3 days/week (dang chorale on mondays…) and my internship is in my hometown, and living at home will be sigNIFicantly cheaper than living at school, it just makes sense. (No telling how the adjustment to living at home for the first time in 4 years is going to go. I may be homeless after all.)

Exciting development #4: there are 28 days until Christmas.

Woop Woop! Definitely more on these coming, and I (tentatively) promise there will be more substantial posts in the near future (winter break is coming, yo!)

&
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